Sent to me by my friend Marilyn, another language maven. Enjoy.
50 Rules for Writing Good
One of the more popular items that circulate through the network of folk faxology is a perverse set of rules along the lines of Thimk, We Never Make Mistakes and (this one runs off the page) PlanAhe…. These injunctions call attention to the very mistakes they seek to enjoin. English teachers, students, scientists and (scientific) writers have been circulating a list of self-contradictory rules of usage for more than a century, and have been collecting and creating them for almost half of one. Whatever you think of these slightly cracked nuggets of rhetorical wisdom, just remember that all generalizations are bad.
- Each pronoun should agree with their antecedent.
- Between you and I, case is important.
- A writer must be sure to avoid using sexist pronouns in his writing.
- Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
- Don’t be a person whom people realize confuses who and whom.
- Never use no double negatives.
- Never use a preposition to end a sentence with. That is something up with which your readers will not put.
- When writing, participles must not be dangled.
- Be careful to never, under any circumstances, split infinitives.
- Hopefully, you won’t float your adverbs.
- A writer must not shift your point of view.
- Lay down and die before using a transitive verb without an object.
- Join clauses good, like a conjunction should.
- The passive voice should be avoided.
- About sentence fragments.
- Don’t verb nouns.
- In letters themes reports and ads use commas to separate items in a series.
- Don’t use commas, that aren’t necessary.
- “Don’t overuse ‘quotation marks.’ “
- Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (if the truth be told) superfluous.
- Contractions won’t, don’t and can’t help your writing voice.
- Don’t write run-on sentences they are hard to read.
- Don’t forget to use end punctuation
- Its important to use apostrophe’s in the right places.
- Don’t abbrev.
- Don’t overuse exclamation marks!!!
- Resist Unnecessary Capitalization.
- Avoid mispellings.
- Check to see if you any words out.
- One word sentences? Eliminate.
- Avoid annoying, affected, and awkward alliterations, always.
- Never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
- The bottom line is to bag trendy locutions that sound flaky.
- By observing the distinctions between adjectives and adverbs, you will treat your readers real good.
- Parallel structure will help you in writing more effective sentences and to express yourself more gracefully.
- In my own personal opinion at this point of time, I think that authors, when they are writing, should not get into the habit of making use of too many unnecessary words that they don’t really need.
- Foreign words and phrases are the reader’s bete noire and are not apropos.
- Who needs rhetorical questions?
- Always go in search for the correct idiom.
- Do not cast statements in the negative form.
Will she be discreet?
These two words are pronounced identically and are commonly mistaken for each other.
DISCREET means circumspect, prudent, careful. If you are discreet, you will avoid gossiping or criticizing others. You try to avoid embarrassing others. Roger promised he would be discreet after his best friend told him he was thinking of divorcing his fourth wife.
DISCRETE means singular, unconnected, separate. Academy Awards are given in multiple discrete categories.
To my consternation, I have noticed that many people and advertising companies, perhaps the majority, omit a comma when a person’s or team’s name is in the sentence. I’ll add an X where commas belong in the sentences below. Pay particular attention to sentences that directly address a person.
Good for youX Henry!
NoX Sam, you are wrong about who started the argument.
Good morningX everyone.
In the last example, if you use the comma you are springing a surprise on Marlena. Without the comma, you are ordering someone to surprise Marlena as opposed to surprising someone else.
When someone near you sneezes, what do you say? In Josh Katz’s book, Speaking American, he explains regional differences. Approximately 73% of Americans respond with some form of “Bless you.” God may or may not be invoked. But in the upper Midwest, gesundheit, meaning health, is popular because many German-and Yiddish-speaking immigrants moved to that region over 100 years ago. Approximately 6% of people near a sneezer say nothing, with twice as many men as women not responding. (When I’m near a sneezer, I tend to hold my breath, hoping not to catch what the sneezer has. So I’m also likely not to say anything because I’m too busy not breathing.)
Adverbs are having their celebrity moment. The problem is that they are usually time and space wasters. How many times have you seen (or written) sentences containing the following?
Instead, use a verb that carries precise meaning; then you’ll have no need to add a superfluous adverb. If a television is blaring, no need to say that it’s blaring loudly. When someone shouts, it won’t be done quietly.
A friend’s young granddaughter was fond of starting most sentences with “actually.” When her grandma asked her what “actually” meant, Nicole gave it serious thought and finally answered, “Actually, I don’t know.”
I had no idea. Of course, I knew the phrase “the whole shebang,” meaning the totality of an entity. But I never knew a shebang was a specific thing until the other night when I was watching a documentary about a group of archeologists excavating the Civil War site of Ft. Lawton, in Georgia. Those archeologists had to spend some nights on the site and set up their individual shebangs (small and uncomfortable). A shebang is a rustic shelter or primitive hut. Did you know that? Neither did I until I watched this somewhat tedious documentary. But I learned something because I watched the whole shebang.