I bring you another example from the corporate world:
“As projects tied to [this program] progress, a regular cadence of communication updates will be provided.”
“A regular cadence of communication updates”? Who comes up with these phrases? I am awed by the author’s sense of self-importance. What guts, what courage, what chutzpah to write like that!
Here is my feeble attempt at guessing what the writer meant:
“You will get regular updates about the projects connected to this program.”
It’s a good idea to use the pronoun “you” to involve each reader. It’s also a good idea to use the active voice. Another good idea (I’m full of them today) is to drop some of the slightly la-de-dah words, such as “provide,” and go for something really simple, such as “get.” Stop “purchasing” and start “buying.” Stop “progressing” and just “go.”
Here is another jawdropper from the corporate world:
“…a strategic framework to catalyze positive and consistent operational improvements…”
What do you suppose that means? Here is my guess—but it only a guess:
“…a plan to bring about positive, regular improvement [in some area, which is not defined but should be].”
Have you noticed these days how almost everything is defined as being “strategic”? Apparently, if it’s not “strategic” it’s not important (in the corporate mind). The most common use is a “strategic plan.” Don’t all plans require strategy? You think through what is needed to solve a problem and then implement it. How can you plan without using strategy?
Too often writers don’t think about the words they want. Because we are bombarded with verbiage (that word carries a negative connotation) every day, we have these chunks of bullshit floating over our heads. It is so easy to write by just reaching up and grabbing a chunk that sounds oh-so-impressive and may hint at the meaning we want, and then shoving it into our own writing. The result is vague, upholstered language that makes the reader guess at what we really mean.
It’s worth picturing your reader sitting across your desk while you explain in plain English what you really mean. It won’t take much time, and you will eliminate guesswork and errors caused by misinterpretation.
Off my soapbox I go.
Wikimedia Strategic Plan cover image (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
A friend in the corporate world sends me wonderful (read: hideous) examples of inflated writing she sees. We both wonder where these words and phrases originate. Do people sit in their offices deliberately trying to make something simple into something complex? If so, what do they hope to accomplish? Do they believe others will see them as more intelligent and professional?
Here is a sentence she sent me today. What do you think it means?
“This probably works out better for you, in that it provides you more time to socialize the idea with the others.”
To socialize the idea with others! Really? I’m guessing the writer meant the recipient would have more time to send the idea to others and get their opinions so they could all talk about it and come to a decision.
Instead of the weird “socialize,” “discuss” would have done the job.