From Jon Winokur’s book, The Portable Curmudgeon.
The chief objection to playing wind instruments is that it prolongs the life of the player.
— George Bernard Shaw
(I can’t find who said the following, but I concur: The reason bagpipe players walk while they play is to get away from the music.)
Of all noises, I think music is the least disagreeable.
— Samuel Johnson
— Arturo Toscanini to his orchestra
Again, these observations are taken from Jon Winokur’s book, The Portable Curmudgeon.
I love children, especially when they cry, for then someone takes them away.
Children should neither be seen nor heard from—ever again. —W.C. Fields
There are three terrible ages of childhood—1 to 10, 10 to 20, and 20 to 30.
The secret of dealing successfully with a child is not to be its parent. —Mell Lazarus
The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant—and let the air out of the tires. —Dorothy Parker