From Drummond Moir’s book Just My Typo, some unfortunate errors on CVs:
1. I have a graduate degree in unclear physics.
2. I am a rabid typist.
3. I worked for six years as an uninformed security guard.
4. As part of the city’s maintenance crew, I repaired bad roads and defective brides.
5. I have had sex jobs so far.
Enjoy the weekend!
What would I do without Drummond Moir’s book, Just My Typo? Here are a few more goodies.
From The Parting, by Millicent Hemming:
I am certain of one thing. Whatever may come between us—and wherever he may be on earth—Arthur will always remember that I love ham.
From an anonymous short story:
He was disfigured. As long as I can remember, he has had a car on his face.
From The Price of Love, by Rosemary Jeans:
Ted could not raise the cash necessary to purchase a house, and eventually in desperation he had to burrow.
From Life in Barnsthorpe, by Patricia Cox:
Later that same evening after a vain search all around the village, Mary found the dog dead in the garden. She curried the body indoors.
I’m so glad I picked up Drummond Moir’s little compilation, Just My Typo. I hope you’re enjoying these gaffes as much as I am.
The Queen Herself Graciously Pissed Over the Magnificent Edifice
( The Times of London headline reporting Queen Victoria’s opening of the Menai Bridge)
Successful businesswoman, widower, aged 44, usual trappings, non-smoker with varied interests, seeks affectionate, understanding female to shave the enjoyable things in life. (Yorkshire Post)
Bishops Agree Sex Abuse Rules (Sunday Business Post)
“They have been suggesting that for some time. It’s all rubbish. It’s fiction.” His comments followed claims that the Prince has been secretly Mrs Parker-Bowles for more than a decade, and as often as once a week. (Evening Gazette)
This wonderful little book was compiled by Drummond Moir. Here is today’s offering:
ONE MAN WAS ADMITTED TO HOSPITAL SUFFERING FROM BUNS (Bristol Gazette)
GERMANS ARE SO SMALL THAT THERE MAY BE AS MANY AS ONE BILLION, SEVEN-HUNDRED MILLION OF THEM IN A DROP OF WATER
With its highly evolved social structure of tens of thousands of worker bees commanded by Queen Elizabeth, the honey bee genome could also improve the search for genes linked to social behavior….Queen Elizabeth has 10 times the lifespan of workers and lays up to 2,000 eggs a day. (Reuters)
During Woodrow Wilson’s presidency, the Washington Post was credited with the “most famous newspaper typo” in DC history. The Post intended to report that President Wilson had been “entertaining” his future wife, Mrs. Galt, but instead wrote that he had been “entering” her.
Here are some historical “facts” for your enjoyment, all courtesy of Just My Typo, compiled by Drummond Moir:
Chaucer was the father of English pottery.
The Normans introduced the frugal system.
When Queen Elizabeth exposed herself before her troops, they all shouted “hurrah.” Then her navy went and defeated the Spanish Armadillo.
One of the causes of the Revolutionary War was the English put tacks in their tea.
Drake circumcised the world in a small ship.
Hitler’s instrument of terror was the Gespacho.
And now you know.