This is from my friend Janet. I love it when my readers suggest topics or send me goodies like this one. The English language is so malleable!
1. ARBITRATOR: A cook that leaves Arby’s to work at McDonald’s
2. BERNADETTE: The act of torching a mortgage
3. BURGLARIZE: What a crook sees with
4. AVOIDABLE: What a bullfighter tries to do
5. COUNTERFEITER: Worker who assembles kitchen cabinets
6. LEFT BANK: What the bank robber did when his bag was full of money
7. HEROES: What a man in a boat does
8. PARASITES: What you see from the Eiffel Tower
9. PARADOX: Two physicians
10. PHARMACIST: A helper on a farm
11. RELIEF: What trees do in the spring
12. RUBBERNECK: What you do to relax your wife
13. SELFISH: What the owners of a seafood store do
14. SUDAFED: Brought litigation against a government official
How does anyone ever learn to spell in English? How many sounds of OUGH are there? The following was written on a mug I saw:
Yes, English can be weird. It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though.
And don’t forget plough, slough (pronounced sloo) and hiccough.
And here it is:
Those are upper- and lowercase thorns. In Old English it had the sound of th, as in the. As Old English morphed into Middle English, the thorn was dropped as a letter and y was substituted, which is why you see cutesy names for tearooms and other shops using Ye for The.
I don’t know about you, but I love trivia about language (and just about everything else).
These signs and labels still make me giggle. They were all written by well-meaning people trying to master English, a notoriously complicated language. Our spelling alone is enough to make even native-speakers weep. See an earlier post of mine, How to Spell “Fish”
I presume “flit” was meant to be “filet.” As for the sauce, you and I are both guessing.
These quotation marks are to reassure you that someone once said those words. I absolutely believe that, don’t you? The ST is likely missing an initial E. Since 1933, people have been enjoying precious coffee moments. I went to Japan thinking that I would find tea everywhere. It’s available but not obvious; however, coffee shops are ubiquitous.
That serving spoon is to be used to take just one cornflake. But you can go back as many times as you’d like.
This appears to be some kind of fruit juice—named PRETZ? Maybe you’re supposed to eat pretzels with it. This box was about $10; they had to squeeze a lot of pretzes to fill it up.
Instead of pretzels, you might prefer a little pried seaweed. Fried? Or pried from a rock in the ocean?
You can ask the chef. He’s live!
If you were to write the following poem and run it through your spellchecking software, not one word would be highlighted. Every word is legitimate—no spelling errors. Yet you would end up looking either stupid, sloppy, or both. Even if no words are marked by your spellchecker, don’t assume everything is OK. It’s so easy to type “and” when you meant to write “any” or “the” when you meant “them,” these,” or any other common “th” word.
My best advice, which you’ve probably heard from me a zillion times before, is to read what you’ve written out loud (quietly is fine) and slowwwwly: one. word. at. a. time. If you read silently at your usual speed, you’ll end up writing what you think you wrote, not what you actually wrote.