An ex-English teacher friend sent this list to me; if you know me, you can imagine how tickled I was by it. See why you should have stayed awake in high school when your teacher was explaining dangling participles?• A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.• A bar was walked into by the passive voice.• An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.• Two quotation marks walked into a “bar.”• A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.• Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.• A question mark walks into a bar?• A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.• Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Get out – we don’t serve your type.”• A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.• A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.• Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit.• They converse. They depart.• A synonym strolls into a tavern.• At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar – fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.• A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.• Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.• A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.• An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.• The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.• A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned a man with a glass eye named Ralph.• The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.• A dyslexic walks into a bra.• A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.• An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television getting drunk and smoking cigars.• A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.• A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.