Grammar Rocks!

An ex-English teacher friend sent this list to me; if you know me, you can imagine how tickled I was by it. See why you should have stayed awake in high school when your teacher was explaining dangling participles? 
• A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.
 
• A bar was walked into by the passive voice.
 
• An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.
 
• Two quotation marks walked into a “bar.”
 
• A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.
 
• Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.
 
• A question mark walks into a bar?
 
• A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.
 
• Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Get out – we don’t serve your type.”
 
• A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.
 
• A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.
 
• Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. 
 
• They converse. They depart.
 
• A synonym strolls into a tavern.
 
• At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar – fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.
 
• A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.
 
• Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.
 
• A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.
 
• An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.
 
• The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.
 
• A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned a man with a glass eye named Ralph.
 
• The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.
 
• A dyslexic walks into a bra.
 
• A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.
 
• An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television getting drunk and smoking cigars.
 
• A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.
 
• A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.
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2 Comments

Filed under All things having to do with the English language

2 responses to “Grammar Rocks!

  1. KATHY SANDEL

    Fabulous Reading, even before coffee! >

    Like

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