Monthly Archives: November 2017

Back From Japan

My husband and I just returned from almost three weeks in Japan on our own. It was our second trip there in a year and a half. The first time, we went for cherry blossom time, and we knew we wanted to return to see the fall  foliage. I grew up in New York, have visited our son and DIL in Maine, and seen summer turn to autumn many times—but never have I seen colors like these, combined with the magnificent designs of Japanese gardens. I hope you enjoy these photographs. Just know that no camera can do justice to the colors you see in person. (I took these pictures in Kyoto and Kanazawa.)IMG_E1510.jpgIMG_E1538.jpgIMG_E1260.jpg

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You’ll Groan But Will Love These

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My friend Cami knew I would love these definitions and ideas. I do, I do. I think you will, too.

WHO ON EARTH DREAMS THESE UP?
A lexophile, of course!
(Definition: a lover of words and wordplay)
Venison for dinner again?   Oh deer!
 How does Moses make tea?   Hebrews it.
 England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
 I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
 They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a typo.
 I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic.  It’s syncing now.
 Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
 I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.
 I stayed up all night to see where the sun went and then it dawned on me.
 This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club but I’d never met herbivore.
 When chemists die, they barium.
 I’m reading a book about anti-gravity.  I just can’t put it down.
 I did a theatrical performance about puns.  It was a play on words.
 Why were the Indians here first?  They had reservations.
 I didn’t like my beard at first.  Then it grew on me.
 Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?
 Broken pencils are pointless.
 What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?   A thesaurus.
 I dropped out of communism class because of terrible Marx.
 I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
 Velcro – what a rip off!
 Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t last.

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Punctuation—It Matters

 

© Judi Birnberg

 

 

 

In Just My Typo, edited by Drummond Moir (gotta love his name), he cites a 19th century example of carelessness:

A New Orleans cotton broker sent a telegraph to New York, asking if he should buy cotton at the current prices. He received an answer of “No price too high.” Naturally, he bought as much as he could, only to discover that the answer should have been punctuated as follows: “No. Price too high.”

One tiny dot on paper can make a world of difference.

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