Time to Groan

From my friend Marilyn. I love it when you send me ideas and examples. Keep them coming.

 Lexophile” is a word used to describe those who have a love for words, such as “you can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish”, or “to write with a broken pencil is pointless.” A competition to see who can come up with the best example is held every year in an undisclosed location.  
 
This year’s winning submission is posted at the very end.
 
… When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate. 

… A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
 

… When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.
 

… The batteries were given out free of charge
 
…. A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail. 
 
… A will is a dead giveaway. 

… With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

… A boiled egg is hard to beat.
 

… When you’ve seen one shopping center you’ve seen a mall.
 

… Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
 

… Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? 
  He’s all right now. 

… A bicycle can’t stand alone; it’s just two tired.
 
… When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds. 

… The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.
 

… He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
 

… When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she’d dye.
 

… Acupuncture is a jab well done. That’s the point of it.
 
 
And the cream of the twisted crop:
 
… Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the end.
 
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Filed under All things having to do with the English language

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