Simplifying Legalese

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Here is the writing on a T-shirt I bought for my husband, a lawyer. It’s labeled “The Layman’s Glossary of Legal Terms”:

ACQUIT: To wimp out
APPELLATE: Hamster food
ARRAIGN: Stormy weather
ATTORNEY: Major sporting event
BAR ASSOCIATION: Drinking buddies
BONA FIDE: Dog treat
CRIMINAL LAWYER: Redundant
COURT OF APPEALS: Justice for bananas
CRIME OF PASSION: Sloppy kisses
DEBTOR: Less alive
DECEIT: A place to sit down
DISCOVERY: Cable TV channel
EXTRADITION: More math homework
GRACE PERIOD: Just before the meal
HUNG JURY: Overreaction to verdict
IN TOTO: Where Dorothy places trust
INNOCENCE: Fragrant when burned
LEGAL BRIEFS: Always boxers
LEGAL SECRETARY: Old enough to party
LIEN: Not overweight
MIRANDA RULE: Wear fruit on head
ORDER IN THE COURT: A call for takeout
PRO BONO: Cher before the divorce
ROE V. WADE: Tough choice at river
SUPREME COURT: Where Diana Ross plays tennis
TRIAL DATE: More fun than dinner and a movie

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3 Comments

Filed under All things having to do with the English language

3 responses to “Simplifying Legalese

  1. Lorraine Gordon

    This is great. I can think of another definittion for Hung Jury, assuming they’re all men!!

    From: WordThoughts To: lorgor19@yahoo.com Sent: Sunday, September 18, 2016 4:44 PM Subject: [New post] Simplifying Legalese #yiv3641911146 a:hover {color:red;}#yiv3641911146 a {text-decoration:none;color:#0088cc;}#yiv3641911146 a.yiv3641911146primaryactionlink:link, #yiv3641911146 a.yiv3641911146primaryactionlink:visited {background-color:#2585B2;color:#fff;}#yiv3641911146 a.yiv3641911146primaryactionlink:hover, #yiv3641911146 a.yiv3641911146primaryactionlink:active {background-color:#11729E;color:#fff;}#yiv3641911146 WordPress.com | writejudi posted: “Here is the writing on a T-shirt I bought for my husband, a lawyer. It’s labeled “The Layman’s Glossary of Legal Terms”:ACQUIT: To wimp outAPPELLATE: Hamster foodARRAIGN: Stormy weatherATTORNEY: Major sporting eventBAR ASSOCIATION: Drinking buddie” | |

  2. Janet Papkin

    Hilarious! I’m sharing with lawyer friends.

    xo Janet

    ________________________________

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